Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Audi A6 top wallpapers

Audi A6 top wallpapersAudi A6 top wallpapers

Audi A6 best pictureAudi A6 best picture

Audi A6 car photoAudi A6 car photo

Audi S5 in best pictures

Audi S5 in best picturesAudi S5 in best pictures

Audi S5 top pictureAudi S5 top picture

Audi S5 photoAudi S5 photo

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Things You Don't Want To Hear During a Surgery

HO s p i t a l

H U M O R

Things You Don't Want To Hear During a Surgery

- Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?

- Hand me that... uh... whatever it's called !

- Oh no! I just lost my watch.

- "Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness"

- Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!

- Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.

- Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500 ml of this stuff before?

- There go the lights again...

- Ya' know... there's big money in kidneys... and this guy's got two of 'em.

- Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!

- Could you stop that thing from beating? It's throwing my concentration off.

- What's this doing here?

- I hate it when they're missing stuff in here.

- That's cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?!

- Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.

-You sure it wasn't this leg?

- OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.

- Are his relatives waiting outside?

- Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?

- Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.

- What do you mean, "You want a divorce"!

- FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!

- This scissor looks rusted.

- Rats! Page 47 of the manual is missing!

- Isn't this the one with the really lousy insurance?

- Now from where did this spider come in from.

Tips for W o r k i n g Hard

Tips for

W o r k i n g Hard


1. Never walk down the hall without a document in your hands.

People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings.

People with nothing in their hands look like they're heading for the cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their hand look like they're heading for the toilet.

Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.


2. Use computers to look busy.

Any time you use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal e-mail, calculate your finances and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work.

When you get caught by your boss -and you *will* get caught - your best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training expenses.


3. Messy desk.

Build huge piles of documents around your workspace.

To the observer, last year's work looks the same as today's work; it's volume that counts.

Pile them high and wide. If you know somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury the document you'll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives.


4. Voice Mail.

Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. People don't call you just because they want to give you something for nothing ? they call because they want YOU to do work for THEM. That's no way to live.

If your voice mailbox has a limit on the number of messages it can hold, make sure you reach that limit frequently. One way to do that is to never erase any incoming messages. If that takes too long, send yourself a few messages. Your callers will hear a recorded message that says, "Sorry, this mailbox is full" - a sure sign that you are a hardworking employee in high demand.

5. Looking Impatient and Annoyed.

One should also always try to look impatient and annoyed to give your bosses the impression that you are always busy.


6. Appear to Work Late.

Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around. You could read magazines and storybooks that you always wanted to read, but have no time until late before leaving.


7. Creative Sighing for Effect.

Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are very hard pressed.


8. Stacking Strategy.

It is not enough to pile lots of documents on the table. Put lots of books on the floor etc... You can always borrow from library. Thick computer manuals are the best.


9. Build Vocabulary.

Read up on some computer magazines and pick out all the jargon and new products.

Use it freely when in conversation with bosses. Remember: They don't have to understand what you say, but you sure sound impressive.


10. MOST IMPORTANTLY: DON'T forward this to your boss by mistake!!!


MOVIES NAMES - HUMOR

MOVIES NAMES - HUMOR

BY COMPUTER EXPERTS !!

Har Dil Jo CHAT Karega

Kaho na virus hai

Hum aap ke CUBICLE mein rahate hai

Hamara RESUME aap ke haath mein hai

JAVA wale OFFER le jayenge

Hum WALK-IN ja chuke sanam

Dhai akshar HRD ke

Jis Desh mein DOLLARS rahata Hain

Hum To US jaayega

Tera OFFER mil gaya

Sapne DOLLARS ke

PM ne phir yaada dilaya

Aa ab KUCH KAAM kare

RESUME se OFFER LETTER tak

Raju ban gaya IT MAN..!

JAVA wale ASP wale

US to jana hi tha

PACKAGE ho to aisa

COMPANY No.1

Dekhte dekhte SHARES mil Gaya

PLATFORM apna apna

Yeh H1 kab aayegi

PM ek numbari PROGRAMMER Dus Nambari

Ek tha VACANCY

Mera Naam BODYSHOPPER